I'm sitting under a tree in a park, or more correctly a Common. This is the only Common in Australia if the guide at the entrance is historically accurate. The temperature is unseasonably warm (I love that word "unseasonably" it sounds so proper), over 30 degrees on this the second day of Autumn. The third month of 2017 already and as I reflect on the past month I am reminded of the changes that have been happening all around me. Some I have instigated, some I have observed and some I wonder if I had an indirect influence on. All of them have impacted on me and the ripple effect being what it is everything seems to be linked.
My intentions for the year I have shared in a previous post. As I start to try and recall what I wrote without looking at the list I am struck by the visual images around me..
The grass is cut at different lengths and allows for varied textures and ecosystems and I watch a pair of white butterflies dancing in the sunshine towards the trees whose leaves are gently swaying in a breeze much higher than my position on the ground. I can hear the traffic on the nearby road and the sounds of birds and crickets. I notice a person sitting on a rock wall some distance away smoking in the full sun...he must be very hot I think. Harry my loyal but challenged dog is sitting beside me, occasionally he stiffens and growls at something only he can see (or sense more likely as he's almost blind); I hope he is keeping an ear out for the rustle of snakes - that's something I would rather avoid.
I look up from my iPad and the man is gone. I watch for a few moments and see a dusty car leaving the gravel parking area, now it's just me here again and I resume my thoughts.
I have a new diary this year a colourful book full of inspiration and reminders to set intentions each month. But wait you say, how are you going with the yearly ones?
Well...I've changed my work patterns to focus on new ways of engaging with people and doing more of what I love, you can read a bit about it here. I've revamped my website and I've started writing more flash fiction - more on that another time. I'm spreading my work energy across different areas with the intention being to support, inspire, mentor and entertain - myself that is as much as the people I get to spend time with. I love that saying by Marc Anthony "if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life".
Ok so I openly admit I have worked a few days, weeks, even years during my life in workplaces I felt crushed by. I know the difference between doing what you love and doing what you have to. I choose to do what I love now and every day I have to keep myself honest and ask "Karen are you being the best person you can be, are you being your authentic self?" Trust me I fail and then I have another go and I fail again and practise more and it does gets easier to let old patterns go. This is part of the intention I set about treating myself with kindness and in so doing treating others with kindness.
So there are some of my intentions being met. Being more authentic, practising mindfulness - being open and aware of my surroundings, being kind to myself.
February has been testing as people close to me externalised life's disappointments, the term "Jigging" is a word I learned recently at a workshop I attended. JIG stands for jealousy, insecurity, greed - three reasons people hurt others, so you could say I was "jigged" in February. I am also aware of my patterns of behaviour and where the hurt stems from. Tom Powell from Red Dust Healing gently knocks on closed doors in participant's hearts.
Now back to sitting on the grass on a stunning Autumn afternoon and the open page of March in my diary asks: "What would I like to create, experience, and manifest this month?" and next "What would give me joy this month?"
I think I will lie back on the grass, close my eyes and allow the answers to these questions to come to me...
How would you answer?